Archive for January, 2012

I honestly can’t believe more people don’t make these things, aside from the fact that each one  adds an inch to your waist line. One website I saw had a nutritional breakdown and

each ball has ~250 calories. And you will not be able to eat just one. They are indulgently rich and addictive, as well as ridiculously easy to make. Ready? Crush a bag of oreos – use a blender or food processor if you can – until its nothing but small crumbs. Next, mix in a brick of softened cream cheese and use your hands to roll them into balls, placing them on a tray or baking sheet lined with wax paper as you go. . Chill them for an hour, then it’s time to decorate them. You’re halfway done!

First, melt a package of almond bark. I did this in a pan on low-ish heat on the oven, but it did scorch a bit toward the end. You might want to try a double boiler, or maybe it just needs close attention in the pan. Either way, once the bark is melted and you have your oreo balls out of the fridge, use a toothpick to skewer them and dip them in the white goo. After they’ve taken a dip, let them harden on the wax paper for about 15 minutes.

In that time, you can melt some dark chocolate chips –  and this time you definitely do need a double boiler. Once that’s melted, just take a whisk and dip it into the chocolate and then twirl it above the oreo balls to create chocolate stripes. Don’t go nuts on the chocolate flinging, you’ll either burn yourself or piss off your roommate by covering the fridge, floors, walls and ceiling with chocolate stripes.

Voila, You have some hell damn ass awesome dessert treats! And there are lots of variations to be done here – you could add sprinkles instead of or in addition to the chocolate. What I’d really like to try is adding some flavoring extracts like peppermint or rum flavoring to the oreos or the almond bark. You can also add food coloring to make them holiday themed, using red and green for xmas, pastel colors for easter, black and orange for halloween, red white and blue for the 4th. The possibilities are endless. I shall experiment further and report my results!

Or you could use green food coloring and whiskey extract to make St. Patty's Balls. HA!

There is something about me that my close friends know.  Some days they are understanding–other days they openly judge me.  This revelation might surprise a casual reader of this blog.  (To my great surprise I’ve learned that it’s not just my mom who reads this thing.)  But I think it’s time for me to stand and announce my self to world.

My name is Arthur, and I like Taco Bell.

There it is.  I’ve said it out loud… in print or electrons.  It feels  good to admit openly.  And you know what?  I’m not ashamed.  My name is Arthur, and I like Taco Bell.  Though maybe I need to explain my self.

First, I don’t think that it’s great food; it’s the culinary equivalent to Katy Perry.   But, confession number two, I like Katy Perry.

Taco Bell is just a mix of carbs, salt, fat, with some onions and, whenever in my hands, a generous coating of hot sauce.  All the things humans are biologically programmed to crave.  I just can’t understand those who refuse to eat there with me.

Some whine about the health of fast food.  But if you don’t order the mega-lunch box and keep the number of items ordered under control it’s actually not that bad for you.  Take my standard lunch order of one five layer burrito.  It clocks in with 540 calories.  Less than most half a sandwich and soup combos at Hale and Hearty or approximately the same as Pret a Manger‘s ham and cheese sandwich.  The sodium in this fake Mexican treat is on the high end at 1280 mg, just over 50 percent of what you should have in a day.  So I skip the afternoon can of V8 that packs 25 percent of you daily sodium.  Sure, maybe I shouldn’t eat at the Bell every day, and I don’t, not any more, but even if I did I could do it right. (Confession number three: in my younger years I would regularly order and eat over $10 worth of Taco Bell for lunch.)

And have I mentioned that Taco Bell is cheap?  That five layer burrito is only $1.89 in New York, a steal compared to any other lunch around.  Great for the poor law student.

So you can call Taco Bell cheap, uneatable, fake food.  I’ll proudly call it lunch.